Have you ever wanted to own your very own novel? Have you ever dreamed of having a full, completed manuscript all to yourself? Well, now you can! For just $50,000 you can buy the complete rights* to my newest book!
That’s right, it comes with the full text, and the ability–and freedom–to do anything you want with it! Sell it, publish it, make a movie out of it, burn it, or give it to your spouse as an anniversary present, claiming you wrote it about them! I don’t care what you do with it because it’s yours! 100%, no strings attached.
This particular novel sits at around 250 pages and is in the contemporary fiction genre. It has some time travel in it, it takes place mostly in New York City, and features a young handsome protagonist with a bit of a drinking problem! Moving between old and new, it examines the age old question of progress versus traditionalism while deconstructing our overly-connected culture in swift and cutting prose. Guaranteed to please even the most cynical of readers, this book will really make you stand out as a genuine literary person.
So, act quickly, as this is a one time offer! No other copies of this book will be sold, because there is only one! And it can be yours for just $50,000 payable either via certified check or credit card (some processing fees may apply).
It will look handsome on your bookshelf with your name bright and big on the cover, or send it to your agent friends, telling them it was just something you whipped up over the weekend. Publish it yourself on Amazon or tweet it line by line over the next six years! You can do whatever you like, because it’s all yours, for this one time limited offer!
Don’t hesitate! This offer won’t last long.
*I do retain the right of authorship, and if any significant changes are made, my name may not be associated with the book. All other rights belong to the purchaser, including but not limiting to the foreign distribution rights, audiobook right, ebook and print rights, film, stage, and television rights, as well as the ability to burn it, eat it, shoot it into space, or use it as a paperweight.