I don’t remember meeting her, but I do remember the afternoon she invited herself over and we got drunk in my dorm room on a bottle of rum. It was all we had, but it did the trick and that was enough.

She was clear from the beginning that she wanted to fuck. College was fine, but dating sucked, and a girl had needs and wants. Which meant that halfway through the bottle she lost her shirt and I lost my pants and her mouth found my cock as I pushed her hair away from her face so I could watch.

How strange that watching is almost as important as feeling. Her mouth was perfect and her drunken skill was beyond reproach, but I needed to see her lips stretched around my cock all the same. I needed to look into her eyes when she gasped for air with a smile, and I needed to see her breasts even though I couldn’t reach them.

“I like this school better,” she said, moving up to kiss my mouth again. “It’s small though, so it’s harder to do crazy shit.”

“It’s a nightmare,” I said, undoing her jeans as she wiggled out of them. Her bare chest against mine was delicious, and I kissed her shoulder as she kicked her pants off onto the floor.

“You know at my last school I had a fucked up reputation all because of one night.”

“What did you do?” I asked, reaching between her legs and parting her wet skin.

“I fucked five guys at a party. I was drunk and they were too, but it didn’t matter. I felt like I was on fire and I wanted everything. Honestly, it’s a blur, but it still gets me off. God, it was intense and I felt like a slut in the best way possible.”

“I’ll try not to picture it,” I said, reaching to the bedside table and grabbing a condom.

“Oh, you can picture it,” she whispered, taking it out of my hand and tearing it open. She leaned forward as she slid the latex down over my cock and pecked me on the lips. “Why do you think I told you? You can totally picture me on the floor of the frat house surrounded by five naked men, each one taking turns with my mouth and my cunt.”

And before I could say anything, she slid me inside her and she was so fucking wet and I was so fucking hard that we fell into each other instantly. She sat up and began to roll her hips as I grabbed her ass and looked down again so I could see myself sliding in and out of her, even as I pictured everything else. Her lips red. Her thighs open. Her chest covered in come and her neck bruised green.

“They fucked me so hard,” she moaned, just as I slipped out of her.

She guided me back inside her, but we were drunk and sloppy too and our brains were buzzing with everything. It was easier on her back, but then it was my fault each time we missed or fell apart, but I suppose none of it mattered. We were fucking because we needed to and the rest of campus could take it’s morality fetish somewhere else. She was telling me horrible things and I was going to come all over her and not fall in love.

“I’m gonna come,” she said. “Choke me. Choke me until I almost pass out.”

I put my hand on her throat as I pushed into her again and I wonder sometimes if we were in the same place at all. Did she make up the story to turn me on, or did she change it from one thing to another? Was she there in my room, on my bed because of something I did or something I didn’t do?

“Yes!” she cried, starting to shake as I slipped out once more. I moved my other hand to her clit before fucking her again as she came, and I didn’t let go of her throat until it was too late for me too.

She gasped for breath as I released her and leaned back. I pulled out, tossed the condom aside and coated her stomach and chest before collapsing against her sticky skin to kiss her swollen lips.

And the rest is less clear because we were drunk and the day had vanished behind us. I know she held me and I think at one point she cried for a while. I pet her hair and the second time we fucked it was slow and dreamy. We stayed present that time, and the sweetness was an unexpected surprise.

We didn’t fuck again, and I think she transferred one more time. The school was too small she told me again. It was nice but too uptight. She needed something bigger and looser. Somewhere she could get lost.

I saw her at the end of the year and she hugged me and I said thank you. She barely remembered the afternoon we spent together, but she told me it was fun all the same.

Sometime after that, she left.

I don’t remember how we said goodbye.