About Guy New York

Guy New York is the creator of the blog Quickies in New York, which has been featured in Playboy Espanol, Violet Blue’s Tiny Nibbles, and Fleshbot, among many others. In 2011, Guy and his partner in crime, The Dirty Gentleman, were voted #1 on Between My Sheet’s list of the top 100 sex bloggers. With over one million unique visitors, and more than one thousand stories published, Guy is one of the most prolific erotic writers around.

Tales of New York

cover-ny-storiesI have a new book out! It’s a collection of my creepier, stranger, and slightly magical stories. I like to think of it as how I see New York when it’s late at night and I squint my eyes. Whose to say the girl I met at Coney Island wasn’t a mermaid and you can’t really tell me the drunk in the back room isn’t a fairy.

Here’s the description of it from Amazon: 

Dive into a New York that might be.

Drunk fairies, chain smoking mermaids, and wise bartenders are just some of the characters you’ll find in this collection of strange tales of New York City. Time stops, windows open into other worlds, and on occasion people transform in marvelous ways.

The collection is sometimes gritty, often funny, and occasionally scandalous. But most importantly each story will draw you into a secret world most of us never see. Seductive and hilarious, Guy’s vision of his beloved city is a heartwarming as it is raw.

With more than 30 stories, Tales of New York will transport you into a mythical New York City that might be more real than it first appears.

You can find it on Amazon here.

A Brief Tourist Guide to NYC Organized By Time Instead of Location

Faneli's in the early morning.

Faneli’s in the early morning.

It’s two am on a Sunday, and Fanelli’s is mostly quiet now. If you get in before last call you can sit quietly at the wooden bar and laugh with the bartender as he wipes it down. The tourists are gone from Soho and the cobblestones look old again. It’s two am, and time for one last beer.

It’s seven on a Monday morning and the Lower East Side looks like a hurricane came through dropping NJ’s detritus onto the streets. The shops are shuttered and the garbage lines the sidewalks waiting to be picked up. Aside from the delivery trucks there is no traffic at all.

It’s four in the afternoon on a Tuesday and you can still get a seat at Blind Tiger before the crowd rushes in. Ask Katie for a suggestion, drink your beer slowly, and wait until the bar is so full you have to stumble back out into the early evening, fortified for whatever comes next.

It’s six-thirty on a Wednesday, but you can still put in an order for two dozen oysters at Sel Rrose before happy hour ends. Try the Beausoleils or the Nootka Sounds. Eat all of them with nothing but a squeeze of lemon and pretend you’re in Paris.

It’s eleven am on thursday morning and no one is sitting in the lobby of the Algonquin Hotel. But you can order a cocktail or a coffee and pretend old writers still sit in the corner. Pretend Midtown is still a circus instead of a shopping mall, and stay safely inside until well after lunch.

Almost midnight on a Friday and you’ve been drinking for too long. You realize why New Yorkers don’t go out until eleven, but it’s too late for that now. Sit in Washington Square Park for an hour and try not to ogle the college kids with their pink hair and acoustic guitars. Let them think they might still win at chess, and when you’re ready, move to the French Roast for an espresso, or possibly another drink.

After all, the night is just getting started.

A week in photos

I’ve been somewhat out of commission for the last three or four weeks with a pinched nerve in my neck and some serious back pain. It’s been a challenging time, and a big part of that has been my inability to write. Sitting at the computer is the least good thing I can do for myself, so instead I’ve been taking it easy, getting some help, and trying to rest as much as I can.

I have found my way out and about on a few occasions though. I went to a birthday party, found a new wine bar, and had some delicious brunch this past Sunday. I’ve taken some walks, which have helped despite the heat, and sat in the hot tub at the Great Jones Spa as much as I can afford to. I even got some work done.

Here are a few photos from the last couple of weeks:

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Writing in Bars: excerpt from a work in progress

IMG_6991I just wrote the first chapter to a new thing I’m working on. Piper and I spent most of Sunday wandering around lower Manhattan inventing bars so I could write a book about it. Maybe we’ll write a book about it. I don’t know. But we came up with a long list of dreamy, fantasy, impossible places that should definitely exist. It took me a day or two to figure out what to do with it, but I’ve finally settled on a book taking place during a series of dates at our little fantasy bars. I started with a place built like a park where the food and drink is served in picnic baskets, and so far I think I’m off to a good start.

To clarify, I’m at Dempseys up the corner from my tiny apartment. It’s an Irish bar that has a live Irish session every Tuesday, and while I’ve only been here a few times since I moved in, I mean to come every week. I have a memory of coming here after prom, but it’s possible it was another bar named Dempseys. Either way I was too young to drink and stood outside with friends as the much cooler kids went inside where someone knew the bartender. What a strange thing to imagine now at forty. A gangly nineteen-year-old version of me is hardly something I can remember.

But tonight is my self date where I take myself out and do the things that I want to do. I made a list, although to be honest last week I came here too. I miss hearing live irish music, and even if it reminds me of my ex I’m happy here. Maybe because of it, I don’t know. But I am happy here, and the writing is helping as well.

I don’t often write in bars, and the reason it simple: I feel foolish pulling out a laptop in a dark bar and typing down words. Maybe if I could write by hand in a notebook it would feel different, although I’m sure no less pretentious. But today I said fuck in and came down anyway. I have a corner booth right next to the music, and I currently have one pint of Guinness and a chicken sandwich in me. It’s a good start.

Of course, I also have one chapter down, which is helping everything.

Music like this is one of the few things that makes me wish I had been born in a different time. I long for old timey pubs with men and women singing as they raise their glasses to old friends. Maybe it comes from playing too much dungeons and dragons as a child or maybe it comes from somewhere else, but it’s a longing that feels built into me. And it’s one I’ve never felt very comfortable with me. It’s nerdy in a way that’s not cool at all. It’s geeky in an ungeeky way, and so I’m stuck here by myself, wishing it was two hundred years ago, and I was in a city pub lit by candles. Lit by beer drinkers and whisky lushes who speak in voices I can barely understand.

Imagine a bar with sawdust on the floor, an old woman playing the fiddle in the corner, and a dog in front of fire and you’ll understand. Imagine bartenders in low cut blouses, cherry smiles, and flowing dresses. Forget the smell and the suffering that always exists, and instead focus on the people. The people coming together to talk, to sing, to make music.

Our bars are about being seen or possibly getting laid. I’ve been laid before. I like it, but I have to say there must be something else to do in a bar. If drinking and flirting are the only two options then we’re missing out. A random trivia night doesn’t hurt, but it’s not the same thing as the imaginary places I dream of. The ones I long for and try to recreate without any hope of success.

But right now, it’s pretty damn close. I’m the only asshole on a computer, and I can hardly count the fiddle players. A man sung a song so perfectly off that it might as well be eighteen hundred and fuck if everyone didn’t clap like he was Frank Sinatra on New Year’s Eve. The walls are stone, the tables wooden and scratched, and for the first time in a while I’m not anywhere close to the oldest person in the bar. Other than my laptop, you’re be hard pressed to guess what year it was from a photo. For thousands of years humans have gathered to make music, to tell stories, and to come out of the world of strangers and into the world of friends.

Is there irony that I’m sitting here alone? Is it odd that a world as close to perfect as I can imagine, I’m sitting here writing instead? But what is there to do? Move to a table with people I don’t know? Flirt harder with the waitress and hope for an introduction? I’m a single man at a bar in twenty-fifteen, and so solitude is probably my best option.

I have to say, it helps having you here.

Second Week of July in photos

This weekend has been a bit of a rollercoaster, ending with me in serious pain from a pinched nerve in my neck. Which means that my usual weekend photos were mostly of my bed.

That said, it was a delightful week in many ways. I took myself on a few more self-dates, I saw some old friends, I ate delicious food and found a new oyster bar near me that has a wonderful selection of happy hour priced crustaceans.

I also started writing two new things: a diary/memoir thing about me right now, and a mythical bar guide of New York currently called The Defenestration of Prague. For reasons.

Anyway, here are some photos that sum it all up.

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From Disgusting Beautiful Immoral

IMG_2469(and excerpt from Disgusting Beautiful Immoral. Read the whole thing in print or e-book here.)

“You were distracted last night, Babygirl. You know I can’t allow that, don’t you? If you’re going to suck Daddy’s cock you’re going to need to concentrate much harder.” I don’t know where it came from, but I was instantly in control in a way that still felt new. I adored her and loved her, and I wanted so many contradictory things at the same time that it hardly made sense. I wanted to punish her, comfort her, fuck her, and watch her get fucked. I wanted to take her over my knee and spank her until she cried, and then I wanted to hold her and wipe away her tears. I wanted to slide inside her and slap her face as we fucked. I wanted everything at once.

“I promise I’ll do better,” she whispered. “I promise, Daddy.”

“Did you like having your little friend lick you?” I asked her, my mind moving quickly in one direction.

“It felt funny,” she said.

“Have you ever done that before, baby? Have you ever had a friend do that to you?”

She nodded – looking down – and I pushed her off me and rolled her onto her back. With more force than I intended to I opened her legs and covered her cunt with one hand. She was breathing quickly, and she was so hot I could feel it against my skin.

“How many times, Little One?” I asked. “How many girls have done that to you?”

“Three or four,” she whispered. I slipped my fingers inside her and she moaned even as she tried to cover her mouth with the back of her hand. I pushed deep inside her, my thumb moving to her clit as she wiggled next to me, little cries of pleasure leaking out of her mouth.

“And how many boys?” I finally asked, unsure if this was a game or not. Had she really hooked up with four girls? And did I want to know the answer to this question too?

“What do you mean, Daddy?” she asked, biting her lip.

“How many boys have you been with? How many cocks have you sucked and how many boys have fucked you?” My voice was louder and more demanding, but my fingers never left her and she pushed down onto them even as she tried to look the other way. “Don’t lie to me, Babygirl. Don’t you dare lie to me.”

“Please, don’t make me say,” she moaned…

Dating Myself

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Finishing a pint of Guinness at Dempsey’s last night

A few Fridays ago I was out with a group of friends at a bar, laughing, drinking, talking, and presumably having a good time, when I suddenly realized I wasn’t really there. I was surrounded by people I love, but I was so exhausted, so burned out, and so overwhelmed, that what I needed most was to be by myself.

In the weeks since then I’ve decided to actively build alone time into my schedule in a way that is actually fun. It’s not a new idea, but aside from the time I need to clean my apartment, shop for groceries, and drop off my laundry, I need to treat myself like a partner. I need to take myself out, do exactly what I want to do, and find good ways to be on my own that don’t feel like a chore.

I’ve had a few self-dates since then, and while none of them have been incredibly exciting or innovative, they have already made a huge difference. Last night I went home after work, did a little writing, picked up my laundry, and then took myself out. With my laptop in tow, I walked the few blocks over to Dempsey’s on Second Ave and plopped myself down in the back room where the musicians were just setting up for a session. I ordered a beer, something to eat, and opened up the laptop to do some writing.

Sitting alone in a bar is a strange thing. As a man it’s fairly easy to do without getting bothered, and having a laptop makes it even easier, but it’s still not a familiar feeling. The waitresses were friendly, the band was good, and as they dimmed the lights I sat and wrote a new story just the way I wanted it. I drank a few beers, listened to the music and posted a few photos to Instagram.

It was nothing to write home about as far as dates go, but it was exactly what I wanted to do. I moved from being excited to feeling lonely half way through, but all of those emotions passed during the evening. And being by myself I was able to let them come and go, noticing them as much as anything else. By the time I got home I was tired, but I put on some Netflix as I crawled beneath the air conditioned covers.

I have a long list of things to do with myself: kayaking on the Hudson, long walks through Soho, writing in the park, movie marathons, and of course more music. I’m sure new things will come to me as time goes by, but I suspect that more important than the activity is the intention and the follow through. Treating myself as Donna and Tom might say, is fucking important. Giving myself enough time alone when I’m not doing chores is important.

If I start to see myself as a partner, worthy of everything I offer my friends and lovers, I suspect some good changes might occur.

Who knows, I might even learn to like myself a whole lot more.

First Week of July in Pictures

Last week was full of emotional ups and downs rounded out with cocktails, fireworks and good friends. I had a self-date on Thursday, and I spent about four hours reading The Sun Also Rises at a bar near my apartment. Friday I saw Jaws at the Nighthawk, did some cooking and caught up on some shows. We BBQ’d on the fourth on a loading dock in Brooklyn. There were friends, delicious food, fireworks at night, and of course flowing drinks.

I took a long walk with Piper on Sunday and we invented bars for a story I’m working on. We walked down to Battery Park and back and laughed at ourselves for most of the way.

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend.

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The Bars of Quickies New York

I get asked about bars a lot, presumably because I write about them and drink too much (give or take). So, I pulled together a few of the places I’ve been going to recently. They tend to change with the seasons, although a few of these places are consistently on my list.

If you’re looking for a good bar, you could do worse than any of these. Okay, you can’t do worse than Docs. But you can’t do better either.

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