Is Maria Really Going to become a Hotwife?

Hotwife lying by the pool

(From my novella The Summer I Watched, available at all the big online retailers here.)

Before I could say anything, the two college kids were walking naked into the house, their perfect asses vanishing indoors as both Maria and I followed them with our eyes.

“Well then,” I said, taking another drink. “Looks like Fiona is fitting in just fine. Are they an item?”

“Oh, I think they’re just friends. What’s the word they use? Friends with benefits. I kind of like that. She’s too young to be serious about anyone.”

“I guess that’s good,” I said, wrapping my arm around her. She was beautiful in the evening air, her hair tied back and her breasts sitting just below the water. When she kicked her long legs out in front of her, I fell in love all over again, and for a long while I sat there marveling at my beautiful wife, nearly forgetting the last few days.

“At least he’s treating her well,” Maria said, turning and climbing onto my lap. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me gently. “And from what I hear, he’s rather talented.”

“Ah to be young,” I mused.

“And hung,” she said, a giggle escaping her lips as she caught herself.

“He does seem rather gifted in that department,” I said, pulling her closer to me. She was straddling me now, and I kissed her again, my hands moving up from her ass to her breasts.

“It was hard not to look every time he got out of the hot tub,” she whispered, her lips against my ear. “And it didn’t help that Fiona kept teasing him under the water. He was practically hard the last time he got out to get more booze. And my god….”

“Did you like that?” I asked, feeling myself grow hard between her legs. “Did you like ogling that twenty-year-old boy and his big cock?”

“It’s been a long time since I had anything like that inside me,” she whispered, grinding against me as I moaned my appreciation. She was far more forward than normal, but I wasn’t going to stop her. The tremor in her voice was instantly different than the other night when she teased me, and I wondered if something had changed within her. Maybe after five years of me telling her how hot it was to think about, she was finally letting herself go.

“Have you ever had something like that?” I asked, wondering how far I could push it before she pulled back.

“I’ve had a few, but not as young and built as him. Oh to be Fiona right now,” she said, reaching between her legs and rubbing me against her. “I suspect she’s doing what we’re about to do.”

“Did you like watching him?” I asked, holding her right above me. “Did you like staring at his naked body?”

“Oh god, I did, Marc. Is that horrible? I was looking at our twenty-year-old neighbor, and I don’t think he minded at all.”

“Did you think about it?” I finally said, pushing inside her. She sighed as she sank her hips down around me letting me fill her cunt.

“About what?” she asked, moaning as we fell into the familiar sensation of my body within her.

“About what he would feel like,” I said, hoping it was the right question.

“Yes,” she confessed, starting to move faster. “Is that bad, or does it turn you on?”

“Keep going,” was all I said.

“I just remembered what it was like to fucked by someone that big, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I imagined Jason taking me upstairs instead, and wrapping my lips around that glorious thing until he was begging for me.”

“Do you want to taste that cock? Do you want to feel him grow hard in your mouth?”

“Oh god yes, I would make him feel so good. And then, when he was nice and hard for me….”

“Say it,” I told her, fucking her harder and faster as she closed her eyes. “Tell me what you’d do.”

“I’d lie down on my back,” she moaned, slowing down until we were both nearly frozen on the bench. “And I’d watch as he crawled between my legs, kissing his way from my thighs up to my mouth before I reached down and took that big cock in my hand and rubbed it against myself.”

“Keep going,” I begged, longing for the lust I heard in her voice. This wasn’t just my fantasy anymore, and I was in heaven.

“And then I’d feel him open me, pushing into my cunt as he fucked me so hard, Marc. God, I would do terrible things to that boy…”

Obey

He was the first person I saw when I walked into the party. It had been over five years since I’d seen him last, but when he touched my hand one word ran through my head: obey.

I instinctively thrust my left hand behind my back as I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. We talked for almost an hour and I almost didn’t notice the first time he commanded me.  It was mundane and simple, but when he told me to show him my bracelet I didn’t hesitate.  Ten minutes later he leaned in and whispered to me.

“Make me another drink.”

His words ran straight from my ears to my clit and I got up immediately.  I was completely focused as I walked to the kitchen and for four minutes nothing seemed more important than making the perfect gin and tonic.

There were a few other simple commands until he knew I was not only willing but unable to say no. When he told me to walk to the back bedroom and kneel by the bed I simply nodded and did as I was told.

It seemed like hours until I heard the door close and lock behind me.  He circled me twice and I was terrified that he wouldn’t like the look of me.  Had I gotten too old?  Were my clothes unappealing?  When he finally stood in front of me it took a force of will to not reach up and open his jeans before he asked.  When he finally gave the command my fingers were shaking.

I placed my hands back in my lap (like a good girl, I thought) and looked up into his eyes.  I opened my mouth and leaned in, taking him slowly between my lips and running my tongue over his perfect cock.  My wedding ring felt heavy on my finger and as I took him deep into my mouth and throat I gently pulled off the ring and slid it into my pocket.

For two minutes I didn’t think he’d noticed. After twenty minutes of using my mouth, I was positive he had. The command came quickly and without warning.

“Stand, turn, and put your hands on the frame of the bed.”

I did as I was told and moments later felt the cool air of the room against my bare skin as he slid my clothes down to the floor.  I could feel his cock pressed against me and I closed my eyes as I waited for him.

“How long have you been married?”

I clenched my teeth and my eyes as I let out a whimper.  He was pressing into me, first with his fingers, and then the head of his cock and I tried to speak.

“Three years,” I finally said.

It felt like an eternity waiting for him, but when he finally slid inside me I came.  Just like that.  I screamed and moaned and thrust my hips back against him and he fucked me harder than I thought possible.   When he was ready to cum he had me turn and kneel in front of him.  He pulled my shirt down and had me beg for him.  I looked ridiculous kneeling there on the floor, and I begged and begged until he covered my breasts and chin.

I stayed there on the floor as he buttoned his pants and washed his face in the bathroom.  I didn’t move a muscle as he sat on the bed and tied his shoes and I simply closed my eyes when he leaned over and kissed me long and hard.  He dressed me himself, taking care with everything. He was tender and gentle and I was pained and relieved that it was all over.

As we walked back to the party he took me by the hand and kissed it gently. Just before we got swallowed by the crowd he whispered to me again.

“In exactly one hour, I expect you to be back in the bedroom wearing nothing but your heels.  Leave the door unlocked.”

Day Drinking with Piper

“I want to watch you fuck that girl so badly,” you said, leaning back with your beer in hand.

“I won’t complain,” I said, looking over at the blonde in the white dress. She was pretty and her legs were long and bare, parted just enough for me to know the name brand of her underwear. “I was just thinking the same about you and that Shadow Moon looking dude over there.”

You turned your head and stared at him for a long while before looking back at me. It was unlikely either of them wanted anything to do with us, but it was a hot afternoon in the sun with too much beer and too few cares for us to be concerned.

When I looked back at the blonde she looked up with a smile and I pictured it all. We’d bring her home, she’d lose the dress, and you’d sit at the foot of the bed while I parted her thighs and waited for her to beg.

“I bet he knows what he’s doing,” you said. “I can imagine bringing him home and making you sit at the foot of the bed while I begged him to fuck me.”

“Are you going to talk to her?”

“You going to proposition him?”

We leaned in closer for a quick kiss as the dog sighed by our feet and crawled under your chair. It’s possible we had been there for too long to make good decisions. But it’s also possible that he wanted to fuck you and she wanted me. Hell, maybe they read our blogs. Would that make it easier?

“Maybe we should just go home,” I finally said. “They both have rings on and we’re too sweaty to pick up strangers.”

“Or we could have another beer and keep being creepy.”

I nodded as I gathered our empty glasses and I knew it was already the plan. And besides, he wouldn’t know how to choke you just right and she wouldn’t know which names to call me to make you cry.

I leaned in for another quick kiss before stepping inside for another round. Five minutes later I was back outside and you were leaning back shaking your head. I sat down and slid your beer across the table. You pointed with your head and stuck out your chin.

At the far corner of the patio, Shadow sat talking with Blondie and they looked so hot together it was a wonder it hadn’t occurred to us already. I pulled my chair closer to yours and reached down to pet the dog. I slid one hand under your summer dress and you kissed my shoulder.

“They better fuck,” you said.

“They’re practically obligated.”

“Let’s go home after this beer.”

“We can find someone tomorrow.”

“For you or for me?” You asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. I suspect we should find someone who likes the middle. We have a lot of creepy love to give.”

“I’ll make some calls.”

“I’ll change the sheets,” I said.

And then we finished our beer in too few gulps and woke up the dog. Home wasn’t too far away and we needed to lose some clothes before embarrassing ourselves in public.

We gathered our things, stood up, and headed towards the street. At the entrance to the quiet courtyard, we looked back to see the blonde blush as a strong hand rested gently on her knee. We stared for just a moment longer, and then we were dashing home with a million thoughts swarming through our heads and a thousand plans resting on our tongues.

In Full Disclosure

Sexy woman lying on her back on a bed.

“We finally stopped using condoms,” she said like she was telling me what time it was.

“Do you like it?” I asked, leaning back on the couch. We had been dating for a few months, but the guy she was dating for nearly a year now tended to get the bigger perks. I mean, it’s not a competition or anything, but there you have it. Perks.

“Yeah, it’s easier most of the time. Messier though. You know what I mean. You’ve done it before.”

“Sure, but not with you.” I wasn’t trying to be grouchy about it, and I definitely wasn’t trying to convince her to do the same with me, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t a bit jealous.

“I just thought you’d want to know, alright? It’s good disclosure and shit. I’m trying to do this poly thing right for a change, and this is something I’m supposed to share.”

“Are you serious?” I asked. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe her, but she didn’t say it like it was a big secret. There was something else that I was too dense to pick up on.

“Mostly,” she said, having the decency to blush for the first time. “I just thought…”

“What?” I asked, so not getting angry. Definitely not. I wasn’t that jealous and I definitely wasn’t turned on.

“Nevermind,” she said, turning away. She picked up her beer and I instantly knew that I had fucked up. L didn’t tell me shit so we could process it. She didn’t disclose information so we could sit and ponder our boundaries or philosophize about our relationship models. Fuck, why do I keep forgetting who I’m talking to?

“Tell me,” I said, this time more quietly. This time with a hand on the side of her face, and this time in a voice she recognized instantly. She sat up straighter, she put her drink down, and she turned to me slowly.

“It’s new,” she whispered. “And we like it.”

“Keep going,” I said, pulling her closer to me on the couch.

“We like it a lot. So we’ve been fucking more.”

“How much more?” I asked, tightening my grip in her hair as I lifted her dress up with my other hand.

“A few times a day,” she said, nearly whispering as she leaned back and opened her legs wider. “Twice last night, and then again this morning.”

“And?” I asked, parting her thighs as I slipped my fingers under the elastic. She breathed deeply as I toyed with her, sliding my hand along her soft skin without fully touching her. L put her hand on mine, pushing it lower as she moaned against my ear, her body growing limp. I teased her gently, parting her lips before pressing one finger inside her.

“And just before,” she said.

“Before what?” I asked, kissing her neck, and then her shoulder. I shoved her to her back as I moved down her body, her dress around her chest. I kissed her stomach just as I felt her hand in my hair. My fingers entered her one more time, pushing the cotton to one side as I stared at her.

“Just before I came over,” she sighed, pushing me to her with all of her strength. “Just now, just a half hour ago. He fucked me just now. Please…”

Her words changed to something else as I opened my mouth on her and goddamnit why did she have to know me so well? I pushed my tongue into her messy cunt as she held me there, biting her hand and moaning into her arm as she squirmed with each touch.

“He came right there,” she said, pulling me even harder against her and there was nothing I could do. I kissed her thighs and ran my tongue up and down her swollen lips. I pushed fingers inside her and then my tongue once more, tasting both of them at the same time. As much as I focused on her, I still pictured him above her, fucking her just moments earlier, and I was so fucking hard I couldn’t stand it.

“That feels so good, don’t fucking stop. I knew you’d like it. I knew you would.”

“I hate it,” I said, looking up before licking her slowly from top to bottom. I devoured her, ate her, tasted her, and fucking worshiped her like that cunt was divine. Every single bit of her was mine to exalt and to destroy. I swallowed her as she clenched around my fingers, and her moans grew louder than my prayers. She screamed, she shook, and she laughed until my lips and chin were soaked with adoration.

And then I moved up her body before kissing her, letting her taste their come as well. She still trembled as she opened her legs to me and I growled in frustration.

“I fucking hate it,” I said again.

“Then fuck me like you hate it,” she said, handing me that damn foil package. I could hardly hold back as I rolled the fucking latex down over my cock, but then I was inside her, fucking her wet pussy like I thought I could keep her. I bit her lips, bruised her wrists, and didn’t stop until I had finished as well, the condom swelling with my release.

“You’re going to kill me,” I sighed as I collapsed against her.

“You love it,” she said, kissing me gently. “Besides, it’s only fair. If he’s fucking me so much more, then you should too. We have to be equal with these things.”

“You mean with some things,” I groaned.

“Well, of course only some things. It had to be one of you, and I chose him.”

“Why?” I asked, nestling into her soft hair.

“Because of that,” she said. “Because you just fucked me harder than you have in weeks. Because it will drive you crazy, and he would have accepted it like a good person and we would never have spoken of it again. Because I wanted your mouth and your jealousy. You know. I wanted everything.”

“You’re the worst.”

“I know,” she said, kissing me head. “It’s why you love me.”

Boardwalk Affairs (Susanna part two)

I have a new book out, which is the sequel to Susanna’s Affairs. It’s just as fun, filthy, and retro. It takes place down at the beach in a small boardwalk town, where Nicholas and Susanna get into a friendly competition over who can have the most (and best) liaisons. As always, things get a bit out of hand for the swinging couple as they struggle to communicate and connect throughout the extra-curricular activities.

You can find it on all the big retailers here. 

And here’s a bit from the book:

“Look, maybe we can start over?I know we’ve both had stressful weeks–months if we’re honest–and we each decompress in different ways. I love you Susanna, and I don’t like being this way. We’re here, and the house is lovely, the ocean is beautiful, and I have the most incredible wife in the world. Can we start over and let everything be alright?”

“I suppose,” Susanna said looking over at her husband with a sly grin. “Under one condition.”

“And what’s that?” Nicholas said, bracing for more complications.

“Only if you open another bottle of wine and tell me the truth about your visit to the beach.”

“It’s a deal,” he said with relief. “But only if you promise to tell me about your walk. We’re too close to keeping secrets again. And besides, you know how I love your stories.”

“Just remember it’s not a competition,” she said, standing up and embracing him. He hugged her back, and they pecked each other on the lips before he vanished into the house to fetch a new bottle of wine. Susanna sat back down again and let her hand fall between her legs. Luckily she had not gotten excited enough for it to show through her thin dress, but her heart was still beating quickly and she felt more alive than only an hour before. And if Nicholas was going to make an effort, then she supposed she could as well. After all, what was the point of being on vacation if not to let go?

“Well then,” he said, sitting back down with an open bottle of Pinot Noir. “Which one of us should go first? Should we toss a coin for it?”

“No, I’ll go because I was the one being a brat about it, and you know me better than I do myself. I’m sorry about all of it. I suppose I didn’t realize how much pressure I’ve been under. All that I’ve been able to think about these past weeks has been arriving here, and now that I’m here I’m just looking for something to make it feel real.”

“And did you find that on the boardwalk?” Nicholas asked with a grin. He moved his chair closer to hers, and reached out and took her hand. His smile was familiar and welcoming. With just one look Susanna knew she could tell him anything in the world and he would love her all the more for it.

“It was a start,” she said leaning in closer. “Mostly it was full of teenagers in skimpy swimwear and old timers out for their constitutionals.”

“But?”

“Well, a rather handsome man did seem to find me somewhat quickly as soon as I sat down. He owns one of the restaurants in town, although come to think of it, I never did get its name. Anyway, he offered to take me for a short walk, and I have to say I did underestimate him at first. Once I told him I was married, I thought he might back off, at least to a respectable distance, but instead, it seemed to fuel him all the more.”

“I can hardly imagine. And where, pray tell, did he take you?” Nicholas did love hearing her stories, and while it was true that they had not had sex in more than two weeks, they always found themselves more amorous after discovering someone new. While he felt some jealousy, it also stirred in him a sudden and nearly uncontrollable desire for his wife.

“Would you believe he has a small cottage just a block from the beach?”

“Well, that does sound like he was direct!”

“It wasn’t all that, to be honest. We sat on his porch for a few moments, and I suppose I let him kiss me.”

“Just a kiss, my dear?” Nicholas asked.

“Well, since I was so stubborn and refused to admit that you might be correct, not all that much was on the table. Why is it you know me so well?”

“You can’t stop there!” Her husband exclaimed. Susanna had a tendency to toy with him and he found that his imagination was often far more extravagant than the troubles she usually got into.

“We kissed on his porch as I said, and he did manage to get a hand under my dress.”

Susanna got up and slid over to her husband’s lap before continuing her story.

“He was quite talented with his fingers,” she whispered as she touched his cheek. “He parted my thighs and kissed me right there on his porch where anyone could see us, and I nearly came. In less than a minute he had pulled himself from his trousers and placed my hand on his erection. It was difficult to focus, but I managed to toy with him through our kisses and his finger work.”

“There’s my girl,” Nicholas said, sliding his hand beneath her dress, up her thigh, and then against her warm sex. She wore nothing under the thin cotton and he parted her lips with a practiced familiarity.

“All the while he kept whispering in my ear about how he wanted me. He told me he would take me right there by the street, and he would make me scream until the neighbors complained. He said he wanted to fuck me a hundred times, and when I dropped to my knees, I suspect both of us were close to finishing.”

“And did he?” Nicholas asked, touching her with more and more force and attention. “Did you let him fuck you right there? Did you let him have his way with you?”

Pill X: Spring Break (five stories of messy unprotected sex)

Pill X: Spring Break is live! You can find it on all the big retailers via my Pronoun page right here.

It’s one of the messiest collections of hardcore unprotected sex stories out there.

It all started when a big drug company released Pill X, curing the world of every known sexually transmitted disease. But what they didn’t say was it also heightens libidos and lowers inhibitions.

Which brings us to Emily, a young blonde college girl on her way to Miami Beach with her two gay best friends for Spring Break. It is certain to be the messiest, sluttiest, and most indulgent spring break ever.

As Emily takes on Miami, she finds a married man desperate for her ass, a cheating wife looking to get back at her husband with two hot (and well-endowed) young men, a hot young bartender who’s willing to play rough with her, and a shy redheaded virgin who is desperate to let go of her inhibitions and forget about her boyfriend back home.

Filthy, sloppy, and hilarious, this book is a must have for anyone who fetishes unprotected sex with strangers.

And if you’d like to read a few pages first, check out the sample below. If you click “Buy” down there it will take you to Amazon, just FYI.

 

Hot Summer Nights

We didn’t sleep all night.

It was hot, but we found our bodies touching over and over again, each time lasting longer than the time before. She pulled away when I caressed her arm, and I rolled over when her knee slid too high up my thigh. Early in the morning, I watched, not feeling connected to my body or actions, as I leaned in and kissed her bare shoulder. When she turned to her back, her legs parted and her hand on her stomach, I didn’t look away.

When my hand replaced hers, neither of us moved it. When my fingers traced the edge of elastic neither of us said a word. Her leg pushed against mine, her hand felt my skin with intention, and I didn’t stop. She moaned when I touched hair, and she parted her thighs wider, seemingly holding her breath as I leaned forward until my hand was hovering above her wet skin. I kissed her cheek, my fingers barely tracing her, and she opened her eyes.

“Kiss me,” I whispered.

When her lips touched mine, my hand dropped, fingers opening her even as our tongues did the same. I pulled her to me, kissing her harder as she struggled with my boxers, pushing them down until her hand was around my cock. We moaned and squirmed, losing our few items of clothing until finally our sweaty bodies were just skin against skin and it was too much.

“I want you,” I said, climbing between her legs and pinning her arms above her head. “Now.”

“Yes,” she said, lifting her hips off the bed. “Yes, yes, yes.”

It took effort to penetrate her, and I finally had to reach between our legs and guide myself inside her. But when it was done, when we were as close as it was possible to be, time held still right along with us. I stared into her eyes, she slid her hands down to my ass, and then finally we kissed once more before we started to fuck.

She came within minutes, her legs wrapped around my body, her teeth pulling on my lip, and my cock buried inside her. I breathed her orgasm, never letting go of our kiss, even as she shuddered beneath me. I slowed down only enough to feel her around me, clenching and trembling as she came, and then I was fucking her once more, needing to join her in her release more than anything I had needed before.

When I came she was laughing, her body still in convulsions as I closed my eyes and arched my back, thrusting inside her over and over again as my orgasm ripped through me. My toes tingled, my hands went numb, and it felt like every ounce of life, soul, and heart filled her at the same time. I gave over completely, letting go of the world, and for a few glorious seconds, I didn’t exist.

We kissed for a long time, my body growing soft inside her. Her giggles spread to me as I pushed her hair from her face and stared at her knowing eyes. She was prettier than should be allowed, and I loved her impossibly.

“Do you feel guilty?” I finally asked.

“No,” she whispered, touching my lips. “I feel stupid.”

“Why stupid?”

“Because you silly boy. If we had done that earlier, we might have fucking slept.”

Pill X: Hot stories of uprotected sex

So if you’ve read either of my first two Pill X stories you know the basic premise: sometime in the near future a pill comes out that cures all STIs. The side effects, however, include increased libido, a lowering of inhibitions, and performance enhancement. Which means that the day the pill launched (Pill Day) the world erupted into a giant fucking orgy of unprotected sex.

It’s a somewhat silly set up of an excuse to write the most orgiastic books I can, and I’ll admit that I’ve enjoyed writing them.

I recently finished the third installment in the series called Pill X: Spring Break (Out in the next day or two). Which, as you might guess, takes place during Spring Break on Miami Beach. This one follows one main character a little bit more closely, and it’s as messy and filthy as the previous two if not more so.

One of the things I like about these books is the chance to let my characters live out their wildest desires without the fear of physical repercussions. And since it’s fantasy, they generally end up having a pretty good time doing it too.

So, if you like unprotected sex with strangers, group sex, hotwives, gangbangs, kinky fuckers, and crazy bisexuals, then you’ll probably enjoy the series. It is messy though, and since the premise allows for condom-free sex, there is a whole lot of come in.

These books are not great literature, but I find that some of the things I enjoy best in life are simple, honest, and to the point. And also filthy as all hell.

Cheating Wives, Husbands, and Girlfriends (also boyfriends)

I have a new book out call Everybody Cheats. It’s a collection of sixteen stories from Quickies in New York about, well, cheating. Some of it is sort of hotwife cuck stuff, but mostly it’s people just getting some on the side whether it’s allowed or not.

Here’s the cover, and you can find all the retailer links over on Pronoun.

everyone-cheats

Brooke Shields’ Desk

Dorothy Darker at School

Photo © The Dirty Gentleman

“Brooke Shields used to sit at that desk.”

I turned to look at the girl next to me and shrugged like I didn’t care.

It looked like all the others, but in an instant, I knew it wasn’t. It was special, it was possibly sacred, and why the hell did she have to say that just as class was starting? I closed my eyes and pictured her ass under a short plaid private school skirt rubbing against the cold hard plastic, and I was in heaven. Sure, I never met her, but my mom taught her and so did J’s Dad and that was close enough. All the stories got passed down year to year, and even ten years after she graduated, she was a presence that stimulated both pride and anxiety. But right then, in the middle of English class, all I cared about was the thought that my ass was touching the same damn seat that Brooke’s ass once touched.

“Tom, do you want to come up to the board and punctuate this sentence?”

The teacher’s voice brought me back to the horrible present, but all I could do was nod and try to figure out what I was supposed to do. Grammar wasn’t my strong suit, and standing in front of the class with a hard-on was enough to make me permanently decide that Mrs. Lindon was the devil. I muddled through it, got corrected and sent back to my seat, and as much as I tried to pay attention after that, it was no use. There are times when living in a fantasy world is preferred to the real one and don’t ever feel guilty for it. Sometimes running away is the best option. Especially if your run ends with Brooke’s teenage ass.

“Dude, that was pathetic,” Mark said as we climbed down the back stairs and outside the building. It was a horrible piece of ‘70s architecture and it lacked the typical luxury of a private school, but for some reason our senior year English class got sent up there anyway. I’m fine with old and I’m fine with modern, but this twenty-year-old buillshit was horrible. We crossed the driveway and then headed across the parking lot to the library like we always did.

“It was Jean’s fault,” I mumbled.

“What did she do, show you her tits or something? You looked like you had a banana in your pocket.”

“Fuck you, Mark. But no. She went and told me that Brooke used to sit at my desk.”

“What the hell is wrong with you? She’s like eight years older than you and hasn’t gone here in a decade. What do you care?”

“She’s hot,” I said with a shrug. It was the truth, although to be fair, she was my only celebrity crush, and that was just because it was personal. I didn’t like her because of her movies, I liked her because of her yearbook photos and the arguments the teachers had about how pretty she was and how smart she was. I liked her because she was close to home, and that was enough for me. I liked Brooke Shields because she made me feel like I could touch something bigger and better than myself and I was desperate for importance.

We found our seats in the back of the library and spent the next hour and a half bullshitting with whoever stopped by before the late bus. People came and went, and by four-thirty, most of the building was empty except for me and Tara Williams. We rode the same bus and everyone called her a slut. Which only meant that I liked her instantly. She was quiet, but she smiled at me, and on occasion, she even sat with me on the bus ride and we talked in the back row. I had some strange suspicion that she didn’t have many friends, especially guys since all they talked about was how badly they wanted to get into her pants.

We moved out into the hallway to wait for the bus, and I sat behind her gently rubbing her shoulders as we talked about class. We were in Spanish together and had just gotten into reading Neruda. Or at least attempting to. She thought it was hot and I thought it was romantic, and I mumbled the few lines I had forced myself to remember for just this occasion. Quiero hacer contigo lo que la primavera hace con los cerezos.

Tara leaned back as I whispered the words in her ear, and my hands slipped over her shoulders without another word from either of us. I could see right down her shirt to her bare breasts, and somehow I managed not to hyperventilate. As I moved my hands lower, she nestled in against my legs like everything I was doing was fine. I finally reached down the front of her shirt and began to massage her tits as she touched my arm gently and sighed quietly. I was gentle and careful, practically holding my breath for the moment she would tell me to stop.

A few minutes later the bus showed up outside, and I pulled my hands out of her shirt and we grabbed our bags. We were silent as we climbed on board, and Al, the bus driver, just nodded at us and then shook his head. What a crazy old man, I thought to myself, remembering how he ran us off the side of the road in a snowstorm one time. I liked him, but that didn’t mean much.

Tara sat down and I sat across from her. She pulled out her Spanish book and started reading through the last chapter, so I pretended to do something else. I was surprised that I hadn’t grown hard feeling her up, and I wondered if there was something wrong with me. Just the thought of Brooke’s ass had done it, but this was real and it was here and she was prettier and smarter than Brooke anyway. At least to me she was.

“Hey Tom,” Tara said, touching me on the shoulder a half hour later when we got to her stop. I looked at her big warm smile and my heart melted a little bit. She was more than pretty and I was an idiot who didn’t know how to say anything.

“That’s for the massage. It was nice.”

And then I watched her ass as she wobbled up to the front and climbed down the steps onto the sidewalk in front of her house. I pictured her going up to her room and undressing, and I got angry at myself for being so crass. She was a nice girl no matter what anybody else said. Why else would she have let me feel her up? Maybe there was something wrong with her too.

It got dark before I got home, and I was grateful for the cover of night. I climbed the steps to my house, my backpack heavy on one shoulder, and I stood in front of the door for a while trying to get the nerve to go inside. Maybe school wasn’t great, but it was full of pretty girls and good memories. It was full of old buildings, favorite teachers, and of course Tara Williams the slutty girl that was a saint as far as I was concerned. I took a deep breath and tried to forget about the desk and the imagined plaid skirt. I held my hands up to my face and remembered that just an hour before they had touched the best tits in school.

My key didn’t make a sound as I turned the lock and opened the door. It was quiet in the house, but I could smell dinner cooking. Macaroni and cheese most likely.

“Hey, mom,” I said to nobody in particular. “I’m home.”